Once Upon A Time: An Unoriginal Fairytale
by crissy
Summary: The not so well known story of Little Red Riding Hood's grand daughter Sam and Sam's very own adventures.


author: crissy  
email: crissy-t@pacbell.net  
completed: 5-3-01  
  
  
Once Upon A Time - An Unoriginal Fairytale  
  
Hello folks, mates, and amigos! I am here to tell you a story. A fairytale kind of story about lost love and cake. My kind of story.   
Practically everyone who wasn't born on Jupiter's twenty-sixth very unknown moon has heard of little Red Riding Hood and her escapades with the Big Bad Wolf when she was a child. What only the people who were born on Jupiter's twenty-seventh almost unknown moon and I know about are the adventures of Red Riding Hood's granddaughter. Since I am in such a wonderfully jubilant and story telling mood I will tell you about her story because you will never get it out of the people born on Jupiter's twenty-seventh moon being that they are anti-social mutes. Now it is time to put my skills as a bard to the test as I tell you the story that only I will tell you.  
  
Once upon a time, April 24, 2001 to be specific, there was a young girl, not that she thought she was young, who decided to visit her Grandmother Red, Grammy Red as Sam preferred to call her. Now the girl, Samantha, or Sam as she preferred (Sam has many preferences), had walked to her Grammy Red's home alone many times but today she decided that she would take a different route to Grammy Red's house and that is what makes Sam's trip to Grammy Red's house a story worth telling.  
Sam's mother decided to send a cake along with Sam for Mommy Red, since cake was the only thing she could manage to bake without burning. Sam packed Grammy Red's present in her back pack along with her lucky jump rope and favorite hamster, who had resided in that particular back pack since Sam's first day of third grade.   
Instead of taking the direct route to Grammy's house (the 102A bus route) as Sam had done every time before she decided to take another path. Walking down her street and turning the corner she found herself on a forest path in a forest that she had not known existed only a block from her house. Anyway it was on this forest path that Sam's very interesting story takes place.  
Walking along the dark path (the trees were very thick and blocked the sun from giving much light) she came upon a clearing in the forest with a pond in the center that her path circumvented (or 'went around' for those of you with a very teeny tiny vocabulary). Walking up to the pond she met a tadpole who started talking to her. Being the calm and collected person that she is Sam did not screech for a very long time as most people would have when coming upon a tadpole who speaks to you. Sam only screeched for a very short time. Once Sam had calmed down she decided to hear what the tadpole had to say and as it turns out what the tadpole had to say was very interesting. The tadpole said he was actually Prince Fabio of Fantasia and that he had been turned into a tadpole by his younger and very jealous brother who wanted to be the heir of Fantasia. Prince Fabio promised that if Sam would kiss him and therefore break the spell that his brother had placed on him that he would make her his wife and a princess, with good odds of becoming queen someday. Sam who had always wanted to be Princess Sam decided that she would kiss the enchanted prince and get her award. So Sam bent down and scooped the Prince Fabio into her hand (along with a large quantity of smelly pond water) and kissed him. Or at least she tried to kiss him, it was very hard since he was so very small, but she did find a solution. With her right hand she picked him up between her thumb and pointing fingers and then found it much easier to kiss him. As it turns out it isn't very pleasant to kiss a tadpole, so she did what any self respecting girl would do. She threw him away from her, and as he was flying threw the air and into the pond he was transformed into Prince Fabio as he said he would. What he forgot to mention was how utterly unattractive he was. Sam noticed this right away and decided she didn't want to be a Princess that bad. Saying good bye to a saddened Prince Fabio she continued along her path.  
Now things were quiet for Sam for quite awhile, ten minutes or so, until she came upon another prince. This one was named Prince Charming and he was looking for his Princess to be who had run away from him and only left her wooden (very chic) slipper behind. Now this prince believed that only his Princess could fit into her slipper so he decided that he would find the girl who could fit into the slipper and marry her. When Sam came along he began to pester her (she had had enough of Princes for one day) until she agreed to try it on. Which she did, and it fit. Unfortunately no amount of explaining to Prince Charming could convince him that she was not his princess and because of this Sam became very irritated so she took a nearby base ball bat (it was propped conveniently against a tree with in hands reach) and bopped him on the head with it. Prince was instantly out cold and Sam was once more on her way to Grammy Red's house.  
Next Sam met an old hag who was carrying a basket of shiny red apples. The old hag, who seemed very friendly, offered Sam one her apples. Sam accepted the apple and took a delicious bite from it. Immediately she realized the apple had been poisoned as the old hag turned into a powerful sorceress and Sam began to faint (which actually took her quite awhile as it was her first time fainting) away as the apple took affect. When Sam awoke she found herself in an unfamiliar bed surrounded by seven little men who wanted her to cook and clean for them for free. Being the empowered modern feminist that she is Sam high tailed it out of that room down the stairs and out of the house. Almost immediately finding her path Sam went on to Grammy Red's which was only about a city block away as it turns out.  
Entering Grammy Red's house Sam saw Grandpa Big Bad watching television. She hugged her wolfish grandfather and promised to be bach as soon as she found her grandmother. Grammy Red was in the kitchen making her self a drink and was very please that Sam had come to visit. When Sam showed her the cake, which she had somehow managed to keep with her, Grammy Red suggested that the three of hem all eat it now. So calling Grandpa Big Bad into the kitchen the three had a very nice treat and Sam's interesting story ended as her life as been very boring ever since that day.  
  
Listening to the yawns and occasional snores of my readers I am beginning to wonder if my talents as a bard are perhaps slightly over rated. Then again they probably just ate some enchanted apples and that is why they are so tired and because of that I will not take offense. In fact I promise I will be back to tell you many more of my wonderful tales that I only I can tell you since those are the best kind.   



End file.
